It Ain’t Even a Problem (a year in retrospect)

“It has been a year since [your last post] was published…” Eeeek. Actually, make that a year plus a month and a half, if we’re getting technical. And getting back into writing—or, more specifically, writing where others can see it—feels just as hard as it felt to begin this thing in the first place.

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Dash, zero, and zero. Thanks for the stats, WordPress.

But, I’ve always been a big believer in new beginnings, and it’s week one of January of a new year, which means I can still pretend I’m going to stick to my New Year’s resolutions, be they ever amorphous. I tend to just roll the same ones over from year to year. Be healthy, be mindful, obviously write more, be kinder to myself, and new this year: give fewer fucks. (In the past I called this ‘worry less,’ but it’s essentially the same). I recently read Cormac McCarthy’s No Country for Old Men, full of so much simple but genius country wisdom, and one line stuck with me: “I’ve told my deputies more than once that you fix what you can fix and you let the rest go. If there aint nothin to be done about it it aint even a problem.” In other words, don’t worry about what you can’t change.

Well, I can’t change the fact that I’ve neglected my writing for over a year now, but I can pick up where I left off. In all fairness—and now comes the being kind to myself part—there were quite a few things that happened in 2016. Since I want to have something to show (here) for this past year, I’ll go ahead and list them. I helped my newly retired parents clean out the home I grew up in and move across the country. I wedding-planned like crazy and got married. I helped my sister and brother-in-law move into a new house, and then they had a baby and made me an aunt. And in between all that, there were three good friends’ weddings, bachelorette parties and bridal showers and baby showers oh my, classes, big job changes for both me and my husband, a honeymoon in Italy. So, major events and big life changes. It was one of the busiest years of my life, but also happiest, filled with so many good things and lots of time with family and friends. 

And now, I’m back, bitches! Another year older/wiser, as they say. Although I prefer to think that I never actually left, just took a little hiatus.

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I’ve been here for years.

Making time to write and allowing my ideas to grow and breathe is still challenging, and perhaps it always will be. But I’m determined to keep going. And I’m still working towards that MFA and getting a novel on its way to the bookshelves. I have to write it first, of course.

Cheers to all the other turtles out there who are moving at their own pace. Here’s to writing more often and more freely this year, and ignoring the aint-even-problems. Happy 2017!

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